October ICLW Scorecard

I am so glad I participated in my 1st ICLW!   If I had to give myself a grade based on the rules of ICLW, I would say I got an A.  I got behind one day but I did catch up the next day.  I also made up my own rules so I didn't get so overwhelmed with the ICLW commitment.  Based on my rules I would say I got a B. 

My ICLW Rules

1. Log each blog comment made each day on my spreadsheet*
2. Visit new blogs each day for the entire week (tracked on spreadsheet)
3. If I didn't connect immediately to the 1st post I read, I read more posts so I could really try to relate and connect
4. Reply back to each comment that I get on my blog
5. Write a new post each day (I didn't quite follow this one which is what made my grade a B instead of an A.... I wrote 5 but that was a record for me)

I really wanted to try to get to know and read as many different blogs as possible for the first go round... hence rule #2.  There are so many great stories out there to follow!  The blogging community is overwhelming and I don't want to bite off more than I can chew with following too many blogs.  I feel like I could get lost for hours upon hours on my computer screen if I don't set limits... How do you manage your blogging time with everything else?  How do you choose which blogs you will follow?  Any ideas?

* I created a spreadsheet from the master list of October participants to keep track each day of the blogs that I read and commented on.  (I will do this each month that I participate and post it right next to the ICLW button just in case you are an anal as I am). 

The Journey of a Thousands Miles Begins with One Step

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, by Lao Tzu. This is such a deep and powerful statement. I found a ring that has this quote inscribed on it.  I am wearing it as a reminder of where I have been.. but more importantly where I am going.  I am hoping to use my experiences, both positive and negative, to help other women like me.  I believe that it is both my positive and maybe even more so my tragic experiences that have not only made me a stronger person but also made me appreciate my life that much more.  Sure, I could be bitter and angry... and of course I have experienced those emotions.  I hate it.. it makes me feel terrible.  But I have healed and feel like I have grown to be a better person.

 I realize that I control my perspective and how I react to life.  Sometimes I literally made myself get out of bed and forced myself to face the world.  It was the hardest thing to do... to put one foot in front of the other instead of putting my head under the covers.  It is not easy by any stretch of the imagination.  But it is very important to try as best as you can to have a positive outlook.  It is normal to be devastated if a cycle is canceled or your lab work isn't what you expected it would be or there aren't as many follies as you would like.  Take the time to grieve the way you need to and deal with your emotions.  If you need to lay in bed and sleep all day.. DO IT!  But set limits for yourself and look at the positive in each day that you have.  And when I say look.. I mean it... seek it out, search for it, create it, even if it is something small! 

 So often when one door closes another door (or two) opens.  I know for me I went through 5 doctors and it wasn't until doctor number 4 that I actually found out what was wrong with me... I think that was around the 3 1/2 year mark.  I was devastated when doctor number 4 closed the door because she said they don't do IVF on patients with high FSH.  I was devastated.. the door didn't only close.. it slammed shut!  I guess I was naive but up until this point I didn't know that a doctor could or would turn me away from treatment, after all I have insurance!  I had a whole bunch of emotions that were not so positive.  I realized that I could let that stop me in my tracks... or I could keep going.  Right, I could keep going... well of course I could, there were still 1 or 2 doctors in the area that I hadn't seen yet ;-).  Soooo on the phone I was armed with new information.  Yet another step in my journey....

Why Blog? My 1st IComLeavWe!

I have been “blogging” for a little more than 2 months. It has been a struggle for me to find the right words to say (and to hit the publish button once I do have the words). I currently have 34 posts started and only 9 finished. I am excited to participate in my 1st IComLeavWe and make myself write and finalize 7 posts in 7 days! My intent is to inspire hope, to help, and to advocate for infertility from an average Jane’s perspective. I hope you can relate to me and I hope to meet and get to know many more of you than I do now.

I originally didn't start a blog so I could actually blog. Um yes that is what I said… let me explain! I have been working on a project on and off for a few years that will help women that have gone through infertility treatments, like I did. The work was mostly “off” until recently but I won’t bore you with the details! So I was looking at reviving my efforts in this and here goes the story…

I was originally searching for ways that I could distribute my Infertility Treatment Tracking Survey so I could get feedback for an infertility web-based application that I am developing. I did what any other person would do and I googled it! I, of course, got about 1,790,000 results in 0.26 seconds.. or so I was told.

I really didn’t know what I was looking for in my google search but I surely didn’t realize that I could set-up a free survey with google docs and then embed it in a blog for free! (No I don't work for google ;-) On the first page of results I found this blog, A Girlfriend’s Guide Through Infertility.   I was only looking to get my survey out in a more efficient, organized and professional manner until I was able to get my website up and running. I didn’t want to send individual emails out to my IF community and then spend time compiling the results based on their email responses back to me… there had to be a better way! I was inspired by the “girlfriends” and so I gave it a whirl.

Soon after I started the blog/survey I read the article called "Breaking the Silence on Infertility" by Jennifer Wolff Perinne and it inspired me to write my first post. I wanted to provide this article to the women that were coming to my blog to complete the survey.  It was at that time that I started to read other infertility blogs and saw all the wonderful things that you all are doing. I really wanted to be a part of this community and I am regretful that I didn’t “join” earlier. After all, I have been part of the IF community for so many years (over 5 years). How had I discounted blogging all together? I don’t think I knew the true community that exists here OR that I had anything to really say that anyone would actually read or care about. I am so happy that I have found that both are true.